Welcome to this small corner of the internet where we share positive birth stories.
Here is my story, the story where I realised and recognised the power of hypnobirthing. I was in the middle of training to become and antenatal and hypnobirthing teacher and I tested it all out for you! All my training and knowledge came to fruition. My third baby, which left me not just feeling positive but riding the wave of empowerment and an appreciation of what my physiology is capable of. I had previously had two births that I felt pretty positive about, a home birth as a first time mum and an unplanned Caesarean (which I will write about later). Although my Caesarean birth was in itself a positive experience it wasn’t the birth I had hoped for and this was a truly redemptive experience. HBAC stands for Homebirth After Caesarean. VBAC is Vaginal Birth after Caesarean.
I felt so powerful. I wish all birthing experiences, especially VBACs, could be like this.
Career change and birth prep
When no.2 was about 4 months old I decided I wasn’t going to return to my job as a teacher but stay at home with her and retrain to be an antenatal teacher. I started my online training and devoured everything I could about birth and used it as a way to deal with my own trauma. Turned out my husband was finding it difficult to overhear me listening to podcasts/books etc and could not even talk about the birth of no. 2 and certainly couldn’t discuss any future births. I encouraged him to seek support for pnd. Which helped and we were able to discuss a third baby. However we were not on the same page. When we found out we were having a third he struggled to come to terms with it on several levels but these were short lived and we worked really hard to work out what we wanted. In the end he was the best birth partner I could have wished for, he knew what I wanted and I think he knew I wanted a free birth even when I wasn’t sure I did myself.
Pregnancy
My first trimester was pretty tough with nausea and could barely get out of bed. From my very first midwife appointment I was clear that I would be having a homebirth even though an HBAC would be out of guidelines. The community midwives were very supportive and encouraged me to change my consultant led care to a different hospital to avoid having to see the consultant I had before. When I went to see the consultant to discuss my birth plans after caesarean I was fully prepared to go in and fight my corner but actually it wasn’t needed. I went in and told them I would be having a homebirth. They accepted this straight away but still had to tell me the risks and that they would rather I gave birth on the labour ward with continuous monitoring. But that they could see I had done thorough research and would not change my mind. Baby was measuring about the 35 centile so not on their own worrying but due to 2 previous small babies was referred for extra scans. I went for one additional growth scan as there was a clear dip in the measurement which turned out to be unfounded, I then had to wait a ridiculously long time between scan and seeing the consultant (with my toddler in tow) who just told me what I already knew from the scan, that everything looked healthy. But then wants to discuss where I was giving birth. The look on her face was quite something when I told her I would be having an hbac. To be fair she didn’t try and persuade me although did ask if I had checked this was ok. I said that I had discussed it with the head consultant, although in my head I was also saying it was my choice where to give birth, I didn’t need permission. I declined all other scans and consultant appointments. My midwife was on board with this and cancelled them on my behalf so I didn’t need to do that.
Early signs & lead up to birth
As I was still breastfeeding my 20 month old, from about 34 weeks I was having pretty intense Braxton hicks so had plenty of real life practise for my breathing techniques. At about 38 weeks these were becoming more frequent and I felt as though labour was going to happen soon, despite going into spontaneous labour on my due date with the other too. At about 39 weeks (Thursday) things seemed to settle down and I felt like maybe we would go another week after all. On Sunday we set up the pool and birth space to have a trial run, check the tap adapters, etc. we had a spare hose and liner and I got in with the kids and had a lovely bath. It was at that point that I finally felt ready, having felt full of panic at times in the days leading up to now. As I put my toddler to bed contractions started at 8.30. Breastfeeding her tended to bring on Braxton hicks but this felt different. They ebbed and flowed but they weren’t particularly strong or regular. I didn’t tell my husband, I just got on with the usual things and then went to bed. I managed to get some sleep although woke in the night and they were more intense so I got up and made myself some hot water bottles and a cup of chamomile tea. I snuggled back into bed and put on a hypnobirthing track and managed to get some more sleep.
When we got up in the morning the surges had become less regular again. My husband was meant to be going out that morning which would require him to drive an hour away so I told him contractions had started and we decided he would stay at home. We updated the doula that things had started but it was still early days. We also tried to contact our midwife as she wanted to attend if she was able to rearrange her childcare if she wasn’t on duty that night.
We spent the day, bank holiday Monday, focusing on good food, family time and generally boosting oxytocin. We went out for a walk in the sunshine, snuggled up and watched a film. Then I put my 7yo to bed. My contractions had been sporadic throughout the day. Always manageable and never very close together, 10 mins at most. My 7yo was fantastic, stroking my arms and back during them and telling me how amazing I was. Once the kids were in bed they started to ramp up a bit more but they were still far apart. We updated the doula and rang the midwife’s to say it was likely to happen that night but not yet. I decided to put the tens machine on and try and get some rest. Toddler was asleep in my bed so I went to the spare room which is super dark and warm. I propped my leg up on pillows so I could remain open whilst resting. The contractions were getting more and more intense but still far apart. I was still able to talk easily between contractions. At about 12 I told my husband to ring the doula. When he came back I said he should also ring the midwives. He decided not to, he knew I wanted to be as unobserved as possible for as long as possible and contractions were still at least 10 mins apart. He didn’t think I was that close. I’d now moved to all fours on the bed. And the contractions when they came were very intense. I decided to go back downstairs to get in the pool as soon as it was ready. We rang the midwives who now couldn’t find a second midwife to come out and mentioned that we might need to come in. I overheard this, my husband chose not to mention it to me. We both knew at this point that I was not going anywhere. By the time my doula arrived my contractions were now much closer together, although still not your 60sec every 5 mins. They had really ramped up since I came downstairs into my birth space. I was now complaining of being really tired and wanted to get in the pool. I found out later they were stalling me as long as possible in case getting in the water speed things up, in the hope we might hear from the midwives.
As soon as I got into the pool fetal ejection reflex kicked in. My first contraction in the water was really long and intense, it just kept going and I had to roar through it. My waters broke and baby’s head crowned, the next contraction and baby’s head was out. At this point the kids woke up and my 7 yo brought my toddler downstairs and they sat together watching their brother arrive. The baby turned and in a few more contractions had been delivered into the water it was now 2.30 am. It wasn’t until I was in the water that I realised I would be birthing without midwives, but at that point nothing was going to stop the baby arriving. It took me by surprise as I was comparing it to my last homebirth, which had progressed in a similar way but I still had several hours in the water before I gave birth. I hadn’t felt like I had gone through transition, but looking back I think it must have been when I complained of being tired. I picked up the baby who was so chilled and calm. He let out a little whimper and then happily latched on for a feed.
5 minutes later the midwife arrived, shortly followed by the second midwife. I was left alone to have a physiological 3rd stage. But the atmosphere had changed, we just have one open plan room downstairs so we were now all in together. Myself and the baby in the pool, my husband, 2 kids the doula and 2 midwives. I now felt very observed and my husbands attention was now on looking after the kids. We waited about 2 hours and despite regular contractions the placenta wasn’t budging. I’d tried to change positions but i could only really kneel upright holding the baby in the pool which really hurt my knees. My husband took the kids back up to bed and my doula told me that the midwives wanted me to have the injection. I decided when my husband came back down I would get out of the pool and go to the toilet and try some other positions first. Now in the toilet, back to being unobserved, with only candle light (we always have battery operated candles on a timer in the bathroom at night) and with my husband. I told my husband I did not want the injection, sat on the toilet and the placenta came away straight away! The midwife had already put a bowl in the toilet for me. I should have got out of the pool sooner! We came downstairs and I lay down on the sofa with my baby.
It was a totally empowering experience, I was able to fully tune into my body and baby. I could check in with my scar without anyone questioning me or making me doubt myself. I could feel my baby moving without the need of continuous monitoring.
I felt so powerful. I wish all birthing experiences, especially VBACs, could be like this.
Courageous Births and Beyond Empowering Calm, Confident Birth 